


Slimal Instincts

by lindsey_grissom



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Gen, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-06-01
Updated: 2008-06-01
Packaged: 2017-10-10 14:42:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/100889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lindsey_grissom/pseuds/lindsey_grissom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>"I believe, Rose, that he is being maternal."</i>  There are some things even a 900 year-old Time Lord can't understand.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Slimal Instincts

"What is he _doing?_" Rose's words are whispered low, pitched just for his hearing and he almost smirks at the disgust in her tone. _Not winning any competitions now, Captain._

"I believe, Rose, that he is being _maternal._" He sneers the word himself. Such ugly human emotions.

"Maternal? Jack? Captain Jack Harkness; Intergalactic Playboy? That Jack? He can't be." Ah, denial. One of the few emotions he understands.

"What then, Rose, do _you_ think he's doin'?" She hasn't moved from her position beside him, and her eyes have not moved from the object of their conversation. Then again, neither have his.

"Um, maybe he's, well, I don't know, looking for ways to destroy it?" There is an element of hope in her voice now. He chooses to ignore it.

"By wrapping it in blankets and holding it close to his chest? I assume, in this theory of yours, that the humming is a subtle method of torture?" Jack doesn't have too bad a voice actually, rather soothing in fact. Could come in handy, that.

"Alright. So maybe I'm wrong. But God! It's bad 'nough he had the thing. Now he's cuddling it? It must have some sorta power over 'im. He wasn't like this 'til he saw those scans." He echoes her disgust, really he does, but the larger part of him finds it just too bloody funny to really care.

"It's the reaction all human mothers have to seeing their offspring. It's the reason you silly apes manage to survive so long. Just be glad Jack isn't from Krem; he'd have tried to eat the thing as soon as it was born." Even he has to shudder at that image. Humans are perhaps not the worst of creatures, all things considered.

Jack himself interrupts any response Rose may have made, and they both gape at him in shock.

"So I was thinking of a name for him, and I want your help. What do you think of Benji? It's a nice solid name, not really from any century, kinda fun, does he look like a Benji? Maybe Fred. I've always liked Fred. But Fred Harkness doesn't have that ring to it, you know? 'Though neither does Benji Harkness, now I think about it. Bleuch. No kid of mine is going to grow up hating his name."

Jack continues, his voice dropping to a more personal mummer, his audience forgotten. Though Jack has been riding a wave of euphoria since the birth, there was something dark behind those last words. It intrigues him, then again, if he is honest, there isn't much of the Captain that doesn't. For stupid apes, his companions keep him regularly entertained.

"Okay, so we'll work on the name, but he's going to need a room, and a cot, and one of those spiny mobile things, with stars and planets. This little one's going to be a space traveller when he grows up, aren't you? Going to make daddy very proud. Yes you are…" As Jack fades off again, this time into the language of babies, universally understood by parents everywhere, but confusing even to his nine hundred year old TARDIS, Rose turns to him, and he wonders if he is showing as much horror in his expression as she is.

But Jack isn't finished.

"And we're going to get you some clothes, can't have you catching cold in here can we? Some of those baby jumpsuits and a nice little sailor suit. No one can resist a man in uniform."

Right. That is enough. He isn't sure his mind can take much more of this abuse. Sailor suits indeed. He shudders again.

"Jack." He glances at Rose, and she nods her support. "Jack, you need to snap out of this now."

Without lifting his eyes from the wriggling mass in his arms, Jack barely crinkles his eyebrows in confusion. "What Doc?"

"Jack, you need to let us have the…" He pauses. "…_child_ now." The first response is a tightening of Jack's arms.

"But my little soldier doesn't want to leave his daddy, does he?" Jack grins wide at the gurgle that greets him.

Rose snaps before he has a chance to.

"For God's sake Jack! It's a giant Slug!"

For the first time Jack looks up at them, and he thinks they are getting somewhere.

"Yeah. But isn't he the prettiest slug you've ever seen?"

And suddenly the Doctor realises there isn't a rock hard enough in the Universe to knock his head against, to make this go away.

 

**End.**


End file.
